I present to you the woman behind the camera! Never in my life did I think I could make myself look like this! I've struggled my entire life with being overweight. I've had ups and downs. At age 15, I decided that I needed to lose weight and keep it off. That Summer, I dedicated myself to it and over the next year and a half, I lost 80 lbs.
Around the first year of college, I went to the gym every single morning for a few months with my best friend. I felt incredible. Then, I gained the freshman 15. During my junior year, I began gaining some "serious" weight again and went through more ups and downs. I was disappointed in myself as I had promised myself I would never gain weight again.
And as any other young girl going through this or that has gone through this (especially if you are in high school or middle school)... if you have been in my place, you know what it's like. The struggle, the feeling, the uneasiness, not having confidence, crying, the bullying (thank goodness I was never bullied though), and everything that comes with being overweight. People think that it's easy and that you just need to lose the weight. But it's not something that it's only physical. It's something that is also emotional.
SO, I got married at age 23 and kept gaining weight. Finally, I gained 50 lbs of the 80 I had lost in high school.
Last Summer, at age 27, I began dieting seriously once more. Almost a year later, I've lost around 35 lbs and feel pretty good.Throughout the years, I've exercised doing Zumba. It's pretty freaking fun! Yet, it never REALLY worked for me. The last few months I changed my pace and began doing High-Intensity Interval Training and Aerobic Dancing (JUMPING REALLY - among other things) and it has begun changing my body. Even when I went to the gym I didn't work as hard as I do now. I'm not sure if being older helps you not cheat yourself and work your hardest but I can do more even though I am still about 20 lbs over my ideal weight. I'm beginning to gain muscle in my arms and I can see abs starting to form. I've lost inches off my waist, etc. However, all throughout my ups and downs, I've been confident most of my late twenties.
Why? My niece would say that it's because I'm already married so I'm not trying to impress any guys or anyone else! Which, if I think about it, there MIGHT be a slight truth to that. But no... it's because when I picked up a camera for the first time, I discovered artistic self-portraiture and I found a beauty inside of me that I was able to radiate outside and project through my lens. Over the last year and a half, I began doing makeup and discovered how to make myself look polished or glam or punk or rocker chic, or girly or even crazy (haha) etc with a few makeup brushes and color. And I get and I know that not everyone can do this. People have real lives and aren't living in this fantasy of being an artist! Throughout all of that... being overweight or after having lost the weight, I've been able to remain MOSTLY confident because I can project myself the way I want to through the lens and by giving myself a makeover. Of course, there are tons of other factors like BEING married and once you are (at least in my case) you see yourself differently but that's another topic for another day.
The point is that I want to help other women feel that confidence. I want to help other women channel their energy and exude their beauty and their love for life, no matter what they look like or what age they may have. No matter what they have gone through in life. I can help women see themselves as beautiful with the simple stroke of a brush and then looking through my magical glass! Yet, I will not be the only one who will end up seeing the goddess in that woman but everyone else will be able to as well.
I want to find and photograph those goddesses. I want to capture their beauty. I want to stand behind my lens and photograph YOU as I photograph myself.